


The Only Home (I Want to Know)

by cupofgenmaicha



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, A little angst, A little public making out, Changkyun is a medical student, Engagement, Fluff!!! So much fluff!, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunwoo is a police officer, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mention of blood, Slice of Life, They love each other so much :(, but it hurts, harmed in the line of duty, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 23:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18292445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupofgenmaicha/pseuds/cupofgenmaicha
Summary: Five pivotal moments in Hyunwoo and Changkyun's developing relationship as boyfriends + the one time they become more (5+1 things).





	The Only Home (I Want to Know)

**Author's Note:**

> Please love Showkyun; they are so cute! I've been in a writing slump lately and decided that the only way to break out of it was to write about Showkyun being cute boyfriends. I'm sorry to anyone waiting for me to update Vertigo; writer's block is a bitch, but I'm hoping to update it soon!!
> 
> Please read the tags! The story is mostly soft, but Hyunwoo does get injured and there is some angst + hurt/comfort.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> ***Please do not repost my fics! Thank you!***

**1.**

The police station is quiet, so quiet that Hyunwoo can hear an errant horn blaring several blocks away as morning commuters begin to flood Seoul in the pre-dawn hours. He sits up and stretches, wincing when he hears his neck crack; he’s been catching up on paperwork from the last month of cases, taking advantage of the lull in activity.

A week into March, winter still clings to Seoul, continuing to smother the city in grey clouds; the cold air seeps into the office, the station’s heater no match for the near-freezing temperatures. Hyunwoo looks around the room, eyes landing on the only other officers there. Chae Hyungwon, Hyunwoo’s partner since they both graduated from the force’s two-year probationary period, has been staring blankly at the same report for at least ten minutes now, and Lee Hoseok, a more recent graduate and addition to their team, has been slumped over his desk for thirty minutes, snoring softly. The three officers work the graveyard shift, which can either be very exciting or extremely boring, depending on the night.

“I think I’m dead.”

Hyunwoo blinks up at Hyungwon who has succumbed to boredom, curling over his desk with glazed over eyes.

“You’re not dead. You just need another cup of coffee.”

“The coffee here tastes like watered-down dirt.”

True. Hyunwoo can’t argue with him on that point.

“We only have three more hours until we’re off-duty. Maybe we could take a quick push-up break,” Hyunwoo suggests.

“Push-ups?” Hyungwon shoots him a death glare, but sits up and nods his head. “I agree with you, though. We should take a break—and get some coffee. Real coffee.”

Hyunwoo has to admit, the idea is tempting. He’s been losing his fight against sleep deprivation for at least an hour now. Some fresh air and strong coffee could do a lot of good. But—

Hyunwoo eyes the phones and frowns. “We can’t just leave, Hyungwon. What if someone needs us?”

Hyungwon is already out of his chair, stretching and shrugs off Hyunwoo’s concern, pointing to the snoring officer the next desk over. “Hoseok can take care of the station while we’re gone.”

“I don’t know, Won—” Hyunwoo begins, but Hyungwon pulls him out of his seat and pushes him toward the double doors.

“Live dangerously once in a while, hyung,” Hyungwon says wryly, his lips twitching into a grin.

“Okay,” Hyunwoo sighs and rolls his eyes, smoothing out his uniform and pushing through the double doors to the nearly empty streets. At just past 6 am, the sun hasn’t peaked over the horizon yet and the brisk air instantly snaps Hyunwoo out of his paperwork trance. He loves being outdoors more than anything—along with serving and protecting his community, working outside is one of the reasons he initially wanted to become a police officer. Little did he know that there would be so much paperwork involved.

That’s why coffee exists.

Hyungwon’s favorite coffee shop is right around the corner, only five minutes from the station, tucked away between a fried chicken restaurant and an indie bookstore near one of Seoul’s most prestigious research universities. At the beginning of every shift, Hyungwon walks into the station with a large cup of coffee in hand, its bold aroma making Hyunwoo’s mouth water as he chokes down crappy instant coffee. 

The café is small and unassuming with a chalkboard sign on the door that reads _coffee shop._ A little bell chimes as they walk through the door; the room is cozy and eclectic, with only enough space for three tiny tables, a few mismatched wooden chairs and a bookshelf overflowing with donated books. It’s the kind of coffee shop Hyunwoo used to frequent when he was an undergraduate studying criminal justice, still unsure of his career path.

Behind the wooden bar is a man sitting on a stool, hunched over a thick textbook. He calls out a distracted greeting without glancing up from his book. The menu is basic, with espresso drinks being the main focus.

“Hello,” Hyunwoo greets as he steps up to the counter, “I’ll have an iced americano and—” his voice dies in his throat when the barista decides at that moment to look up from his book, brushing blond hair from his eyes. With soft cheeks, pretty eyes, a strong nose and sharp jawline, Hyunwoo is certain he’s standing before the most beautiful man in existence.

“And?” The barista asks after a beat, voice deep and smooth. Soothing. The kind of voice that will stay locked in Hyunwoo’s head. He raises his pierced eyebrow slightly as he waits for an answer, but there’s a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Uh?” Hyunwoo mutters intelligently, his mind completely blank. He looks at Hyungwon for help and is met with another raised eyebrow.

“—and the strongest drip coffee you have,” Hyungwon finishes after a beat.

“Okay,” the barista says as he types the order into the iPad. “And what name should I put this under?”

“Uhh—Officer Son, I mean Hyunwoo—” Hyunwoo stammers, feeling his ears turn red. He can hear Hyungwon stifling a giggle next to him and is already gearing up for some immense teasing for the rest of their shift. He is usually so cool-headed and calm, a grounding presence in the police force. What’s wrong with him today?

“Okay, Officer Son. That will be 6,000 won with the police discount.”

“Wow. I’m in here almost every day and I’ve never heard of that,” Hyungwon comments dryly.

The barista shrugs, feigning innocence, but there is mirth sparkling in his eyes. “It’s new. Starting today.”

Hyunwoo stares at the barista’s dimples—they are so _cute_ —as he hands over his card.

“Your drinks will be ready in a minute.”

Hyungwon pulls him aside as the barista makes their drinks. “Okay, spill. I have never seen you stutter like that before,” Hyungwon whispers. “You think he’s cute, right?”

“What? No,” Hyunwoo scoffs. “I’m just in awe that I’ve worked at the station for three years now and have never been here before.”

“Something tells me we’re going to come here pretty frequently now,” Hyungwon mutters as he eyes the barista who is now setting the finished drinks on the counter.

“Thank you, uh—” Hyunwoo looks for any kind of name tag on the man’s black sweater.

“Im Changkyun.”

“Thanks, Changkyun-ssi,” Hyunwoo says with a small smile, somehow managing to blush again.

“Hope to see you again, Officer.”

/

Hyunwoo returns to the coffee shop almost every day for several weeks, his heart soaring every time he sees Changkyun hunched over a book behind the counter, listening to anything from hip-hop to classical music as he reads. Even after a month, Hyunwoo can still barely stutter out more than a short greeting, his drink order and ‘thank you’ without his heart hammering, but Changkyun chats with him anyway, growing more comfortable each time he visits.

Hyungwon is convinced that Changkyun is flirting with him, but Hyunwoo doesn’t see it.

“He asked you to give him a ride sometime, hyung!” Hyungwon says as he shakes Hyunwoo’s shoulders. “He was squeezing your bicep and _smirking_!”

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo shrugs. “I think he meant in the police cruiser.”

“I give up!” Hyungwon throws his hands up. “You get coffee alone from now on.”

This morning, when Changkyun looks up from his book and smiles, Hyunwoo’s brain short circuits. Changkyun is wearing a large cream sweater and glasses—and they somehow make him look even softer than usual.

_Play it cool, Hyunwoo_ , he reminds himself, but instead of muttering ‘hi’ or simply ordering like a normal, functional adult, Hyunwoo blurts out the first thing he thinks: “Glasses.”

Changkyun chuckles quietly, dimples on full display. “Very observant, Officer Son,” he says with a wink, deep voice laced with amusement as he gently teases him.

Hyunwoo feels his ears burn as they seem to do around Changkyun, and he smiles, feeling a bit sheepish.

Changkyun knows his order by heart and his drink is ready within minutes, too soon for Hyunwoo, who searches for something—anything—to say just to buy himself a few more moments with this man who makes him melt with one smile. When Changkyun hands Hyunwoo his drink, their fingertips barely brush, sending pleasant tingles up his spine. 

“Seeing you has become the highlight of my day, Officer Son,” Changkyun admits as they meet eyes; his fingertips linger a few moments longer until he looks away with a fierce blush dusting his cheeks.

Hyunwoo rubs his neck and grins bashfully, his mouth finally figuring out how to work again. “It’s mine too.”

**2.**

Hyunwoo begins to visit the café more frequently, sometimes joining Changkyun on his breaks and over time, he learns that Changkyun is originally from Gwangju, he lives with his best friends Jooheon and Minhyuk while he finishes up his second year of medical school, he has a surprisingly expansive knowledge of literature, poetry and music, and his love for ramyeon rivals Hyunwoo’s.

“I start clinicals next semester,” Changkyun explains after a long sip of his iced coffee, pursing his lips in thought. “Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep at some point in the next four or five years.”

They’re both leaning over the small wooden table, the only people in the coffee shop, relaxed enough with each other now that their knees are grazing and neither feels the need to pull away. Hyunwoo has lost track of time; he could listen to Changkyun talk for hours, watching as his face lights up with passion one minute then transforms with a sarcastic raise of his eyebrow the next.

“Do you have any idea which field of medicine you want to pursue?”

“I’ll learn certain specialities in clinicals, but,” Changkyun shrugs, affecting nonchalance, but Hyunwoo can tell from the fire in his eyes how much he loves his chosen field, “I really want to work in pediatrics.”

_He wants to work with kids._ Hyunwoo feels giddy, a kind of fizzy joy that only comes from meeting someone really special. He leans his cheek against his palm, convinced that this man can’t be any more amazing.

“I know you’re really busy with school,” Hyunwoo begins, feeling his pulse thrumming, heartbeat loud in his ears; his eyes stay focused on the straw he’s using to stir his coffee so he doesn’t lose his nerve as he continues, “but I would love to take you out to dinner sometime.”

_Okay. Not too bad, Hyunwoo._

Changkyun is taking a while to answer. So long that Hyunwoo forces himself to look up, already prepared for rejection. What he doesn’t expect to see is Changkyun attempting to hide his face—and the huge smile plastered there—behind his hands.

“Okay,” Changkyun eventually agrees, a smile lingering in his voice, “but you’re not just asking because you pity my broke student ass, right?”

“No. This isn’t some weird sugar daddy thing,” Hyunwoo laughs, feeling like he can breathe again, and boldly brushes his thumb over Changkyun’s knuckles. “I just really like talking to you Changkyun-ah.”

Changkyun’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and his lips curl up into a shy grin. “I really like you too, hyung.”

/

“Where are you going to take him?” Kihyun asks as he leans his hip against Hyunwoo’s desk, folding his arms across his chest, eyebrows slightly raised as he waits for a response.

“I’ll take him out for gopchang,” Hyunwoo mutters distractedly as he continues to review the paperwork for his and Kihyun’s joint case; Kihyun is a social worker with the police department and has been Hyunwoo's friend since they were in diapers.

He hears several loud gasps and looks up from the papers into three pairs of horrified eyes. He knits his eyebrows together. “What?”

“You can’t take him there!” Kihyun all but yells. “This is your first date since college—it’s been _years_ , hyung!”

“Okay. That is _not_ true,” he counters. “I’ve been on plenty of dates.”

Kihyun scoffs, “Those bullshit blind dates set up by _your mom_ don’t count.”

There have been a handful of first dates that never turned into second dates; the men were always too serious and they never challenged Hyunwoo, never made him laugh. “They weren’t like Changkyun,” he sighs.

The room goes completely still and only then does he realize he actually said that out loud.

He’s already burrowing his flushed face into his arms when Hyungwon begins to hoot. Then Kihyun crows—and suddenly the room is in pandemonium. Hoseok claps his hands together, gleefully shouting, “You’re so whipped, Hyunwoo-yah!”

Hyungwon calms down first, placing a cool hand on Hyunwoo’s burning neck. “Leave him alone,” he chastises, but from the lilt in his voice, Hyunwoo knows that his partner is enjoying this more than anyone else.

“Anyway,” Hyunwoo interjects pointedly, trying his best to sound serious and professional, “the fine dust has been really thick lately and gopchang will clean his respiratory system—”

“That is true, Ki.” Hoseok nods his head in agreement. “And it helps cure alcohol dependence, too.”

“No one wants their _respiratory system_ cleaned out on a date, honey,” Kihyun sighs, exchanging an exasperated look with Hyungwon. “You need to take him out on a proper date.”

What does a proper date even entail? Hyunwoo puckers his lips in thought, starting to doubt himself. “He said that he’s up for anything and we’re both pretty low-key.”

Kihyun pinches the bridge of his nose. “You said he lived abroad, right?”

Hyunwoo nods, not really sure where the conversation is heading. “When he was a child, but he’s lived in Korea for fifteen years now.”

“Doesn’t matter. His tastes are different, more international.” Kihyun taps his chin, thinking, then his eyes grow large and he snaps his fingers. “I’m going to help you, hyung,” he insists. “Trust me.”

Hyunwoo feels doubtful.

Later that evening, Kihyun texts him reservation details for a restaurant in Cheongdam-dong, a neighborhood in Seoul that Hyunwoo hardly feels the need to visit outside of work hours, but he looks up the restaurant and it seems nice, albeit ridiculously fancy. Neo-Korean food with a French flair? Huh. He’s never heard of it, but it really doesn’t matter to him as long as the food is tasty.

The only other advice Kihyun texts him is: look expensive.

A few days later as the taxi pulls up to the curb outside a sleek glass and marble building, Hyunwoo’s stomach plummets and churns uneasily. He fiddles with his new suit jacket and fidgets with his rarely worn watch, checking his phone every other minute as he waits for Changkyun to arrive.

“Hyung?”

Hyunwoo feels a wave of warmth roll up his spine at the familiar voice and he turns around, only to have his jaw drop. Changkyun looks good no matter what he wears, but Hyunwoo wasn’t expecting this. He's wearing a black pinstripe suit and white dress shirt, top button popped open to expose the tiniest peek of collarbones. The piercings dotting his ears glitter under the light pouring out from the restaurant. And he has black hair. 

It’s too much for Hyunwoo to compute and he makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “Wow,” he manages to breathe out. “You look amazing, Changkyun.”

“Thanks,” Changkyun mumbles shyly, averting his eyes like he does whenever Hyunwoo compliments him. “I borrowed the suit from Jooheon.”

Hyunwoo gestures toward the restaurant, opening the door for Changkyun and placing a careful hand on Changkyun’s lower back as they check in with the hostess. The restaurant is chic and luxurious, with private booths situated below contemporary crystal chandeliers. Hyunwoo tries not to gawk, but the space is like out of a glossy magazine and pretty much the exact opposite of the modest family-owned restaurants he usually frequents. He glances at Changkyun, whispering, “Is this the type of restaurant you would eat at in America?”

Changkyun shakes his head, muttering, “Hell no. Sometimes we went out for waffles on weekends.”

Hyunwoo closes his eyes with a silent groan. He never should have listened to Kihyun.

It only gets worse when they are shown to their booth and he finds the table covered with bouquets of long-stemmed red roses—a surprise almost certainly arranged by his friend. It’s all so ridiculous and over-the-top for a first date that he wouldn’t blame Changkyun for taking one look at the table and running. 

Hyunwoo is silently rubbing his flushed neck, feeling self-conscious, when he hears a muffled snort; he whips his head around to find Changkyun doubled over, laughing. “It looks like a flower shop threw up on our table!” Changkyun gasps between giggles.

A relieved chuckle escapes Hyunwoo. Then another. Soon his shoulders are shaking with buoyant laughter—and just like that, the tension and anxiety melt away.

“What the hell is deconstructed kimchi-jjigae?” Changkyun stage whispers, hiding his face behind the menu.

Hyunwoo shrugs. “No idea. Ask Kihyun. He’s the one who recommended this place.”

They order and eat the ridiculously tiny plates of food, holding hands under the table, and it strikes Hyunwoo just how comfortable he feels with Changkyun. No stilted comments about the weather or politics. No awkward silences. Instead, their conversation flows naturally and Hyunwoo slowly relaxes, enjoying himself despite the stuffy atmosphere.

“Hyung,” Changkyun says as Hyunwoo pays the bill, pausing until Hyunwoo looks up at him. “Thanks for bringing me here, but, ah—”

Hyunwoo grins and takes Changkyun’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his soft skin. “Ready to get out of here and eat some real food?”

“Hell yeah.”

The evening is still a little cool, but cherry blossoms are blooming, painting the streets with delicate blots of pink and white. A bag of fried chicken is in one hand and Changkyun’s hand is in his other as they walk along the riverfront searching for a relatively quiet place to sit. With the warmer weather, groups of Seoulites are out enjoying the city and it takes a few minutes to find an unoccupied bench.

Once seated, Changkyun pops open the beers and they dig into the fried chicken. “You know,” Changkyun begins, flicking his gaze from the moonlit river to meet Hyunwoo's eyes, “you don’t have to impress me, hyung. Just being with you makes me happy.” He smiles crookedly like he does sometimes, dimples in both cheeks—and Hyunwoo’s stomach flips.

“I really like you, Changkyun-ah,” he admits softly as he holds out his hand. He feels warm all over; not the uncomfortable kind of heat from embarrassment, but the kind of warmth that settles into his stomach, radiating to the tips of his fingers. Changkyun laces their fingers together and they don’t let go of each other until Hyunwoo is lingering in Changkyun’s doorway, kissing him on the cheek, already looking forward to the next date.

**3.**

Cicadas are synonymous with summer, their cacophonous chorus officially announcing to Seoul that a new season has arrived, and along with their call are afternoon thunderstorms, the rain only making the air even thicker, muggier. Hyunwoo’s uniform sticks to his back as he and Hyungwon finish investigating drug charges brought against a prominent club owner in Gangnam. Recently promoted, the duo have been assigned to harder-to-crack drug trafficking and corruption cases—and with that, they work long hours, spending more time at the station than at home.

“It’s really fucking hot and those fucking cicadas are driving me insane,” Hyungwon whines. “Let’s go get a beer.”

Hyunwoo wipes sweat from his forehead as he starts the car and cranks the air-conditioning to high. “Uh, I would love to, Won, but—”

“You have a date,” Hyungwon finishes the sentence as he playfully whacks Hyunwoo’s arm. “Finally! You need to tell me everything.”

Hyunwoo grins. “Let’s get beers tomorrow, Won. My treat.”

Hyungwon bites his lip, pretending to think about it, then smiles. “Deal.”

The drive back to the station is slow due to rush hour traffic. “Just use the sirens,” Hyungwon huffs when Hyunwoo stops at yet another red light.

“That’s against protocol, Officer Chae,” he chides softly, unable to suppress his grin when he hears his partner swear under his breath.

“Since we’re stopped, you might as well tell me all about your plans for tonight,” Hyungwon grumbles. “Where are you going? Another Kihyun date suggestion?”

“Hell no,” Hyunwoo bites out a little too forcefully and Hyungwon bursts into laughter. “We’re going to get chicken and eat by the river. It’s our thing now.”

Hyungwon sobers and smiles thoughtfully. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” No use in denying it.

“You know, we’re going to have to bring him along when we go out at some point,” Hyungwon muses. “Ki will get drunk again after one shot and start dancing. Hoseok will probably sing love songs and make himself cry.”

Hyunwoo groans, easily picturing the scene. “Good thing I love all of you.”

He feels a squeeze on his shoulder. “We love you too, hyung.”

/

“How are you wearing a leather jacket in this weather, Kyun?” Hyunwoo mutters, laughing when Changkyun rolls his eyes and burrows into his chest as they hug. He can’t help but breathe Changkyun in; it seems like it’s been weeks since they’ve last seen each other. “How were clinicals?”

Changkyun started clinical rotations at the hospital a month ago, and between both their crazy schedules, they’ve only been able to squeeze in a random date here or there.

“Good,” Changkyun answers as he pulls Hyunwoo in the direction of their usual chicken restaurant. “Don’t you want to eat now?”

Hyunwoo shakes his head, stopping in front of a flashing neon sign affixed to a brightly painted blue and orange building; he feels bursts of cool air each time someone walks in or out of the double doors. “Surprise first. Food second.”

Changkyun blinks a few times, clearly bewildered. “You want to go to an arcade?”

Hyunwoo nods, failing to suppress a grin.

“But you’re terrible at video games!” Changkyun exclaims incredulously.

Hyunwoo shrugs. He’s been thinking about this ever since he lost in their last video game match. “I was only terrible because you kept tickling me,” he points out. “I deserve a rematch.”

That, and Changkyun kept scrunching his nose and laughing, which is highly distracting—but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Okay, I have no problem winning again!” Changkyun rubs his hands together, laughing wickedly. “Loser buys dinner.”

Nearly an hour later, Hyunwoo accepts defeat. He played much better than usual, but his concentration and competitive nature are no match for Changkyun kissing his cheek and touching his knee.

“You played dirty,” Hyunwoo says with a pout.

“Poor hyung,” Changkyun coos as he pokes Hyunwoo’s cheek. “You played really well tonight. I’m impressed.”

Hyunwoo grins, pleased, and extends his hand to Changkyun, who happily takes it. “Ready for dinner?”

The sun begins to set as they walk along the river to a small grassy area; they choose to set up their makeshift picnic under a tree, watching the sky streak pink and purple, the kaleidoscope of colors reflected in the calm water. As they eat, they talk about Changkyun’s first time assisting in surgery and the corruption and drug cases that Hyunwoo has been tackling. Changkyun—whose head is now resting in Hyunwoo’s lap—turns his face to catch the last remaining sun rays. He is practically glowing in the waning summer light. Hyunwoo reaches out and brushes back the hair that has fallen into his boyfriend’s eyes just to feel it between his fingertips.

Changkyun looks up at him, radiant—and Hyunwoo forgets how to breathe for a moment.

“You can kiss me,” Changkyun says softly as he walks his fingers up Hyunwoo’s chest to his nape and gently pulls, guiding him down so that their lips barely brush. “I want it, too.”

Changkyun’s lips are soft, even softer than he remembered—and Hyunwoo’s body is thrumming with heat and adrenaline as he helps Changkyun sit up and eases him onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s torso so that their chests touch.

Hyunwoo lets Changkyun set the pace—slow at first, gentle and chaste like all their previous kisses—and he pulls away like he always does, before things get too heated. He never wants to push Changkyun too far, too quickly; but this time, when he pulls back, Changkyun’s eyes are dark and molten. This time, he chases Hyunwoo’s lips with a quiet, frustrated whine. Hyunwoo’s lips part in a surprised gasp as Changkyun surges forward; he nibbles on Hyunwoo’s lower lip, then slips his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss, giving Hyunwoo his first real taste of him.

_We’re in public_ , Hyunwoo distantly remembers, but he hasn’t seen another soul since sunset. He feels bold under the cover of night and settles Changkyun farther onto his lap, fingers firm on his hipbones. Something hot boils under his skin as they curl their tongues together and all he can think is: _more_. He wants more. Changkyun pulls off Hyunwoo’s snapback, throwing it off to the side and threads fingers through his hair as their tongues roll together. Each drag of Changkyun’s tongue sends a lick of fire up Hyunwoo’s spine.

He’s kissed plenty of guys before, but it’s never felt like this, with a solid body straddling his thighs, nails scratching his scalp and lips dragging up his neck to his ear. Changkyun shoves Hyunwoo’s hands up under his shirt and he runs his fingers over his boyfriend’s smooth skin, over his stomach, up his sides. Changkyun laughs breathily, mumbling, “I’m ticklish,” against Hyunwoo’s lips and then they’re kissing again, hard and open-mouthed, hot and wet. Perfect.

Changkyun grinds down experimentally into Hyunwoo’s lap and makes a tiny, pleased noise as Hyunwoo kisses his jaw, mouthing over his warm skin. Everything is hot and Hyunwoo feels high, intoxicated; he wants to kiss Changkyun’s naked body, explore him, learn what makes his stomach tremble. He wants to taste him and feel his muscles quiver.

Changkyun breaks the kiss first, resting his forehead against Hyunwoo’s shoulder with a breathless laugh. Even through his jeans, Hyunwoo can feel the restraint evident in his boyfriend’s twitching muscles as he holds him close, both of them softly panting.

“That was pretty good for our first real kiss,” Hyunwoo finally says, already sounding wrecked as he cups Changkyun’s face with his palms and runs his thumb over his flushed cheek.

“Yep,” Changkyun agrees, eyes glittering with mischief as he grinds down shamelessly into Hyunwoo’s lap. “Can’t wait for our second.”

**4.**

300 days. That’s how long they’ve been dating. 300 days of cuddling, movies and holding hands. 300 days of hugs, tears and apologies. Hyunwoo has never laughed as much as he has in the last year.

He never imagined giving anyone the passcode to his apartment but he gave it to Changkyun months ago—an open invitation to make a place for himself in Hyunwoo’s life—and hasn’t once regretted that decision. Before he met Changkyun, he craved solitude; he routinely left work late, popped open a bottle of beer once he got home and maybe watched some tv before sleeping in an empty bed. Now, the apartment feels lonely whenever Changkyun isn’t there snuggling with him or biting his shoulder randomly or fighting over who gets to eat the last cupcake.

When Hyunwoo enters in the passcode and toes off his shoes, a bouquet of roses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, he halfway expects to see Changkyun already holed up in the kitchen, dirty dishes strewn everywhere and flour streaked on his cheek, pouting that he’s home too early and ruined the surprise. 

“Changkyun-ah?” he calls out, surprised to be met with a dark, silent apartment. He doesn’t dwell on it, instead relieved that he has some time to set up a surprise of his own.

He places candles all around the bathtub, checks the time and decides to fill the tub with searing hot water, scattering rose petals around and pouring two glasses of wine. He looks over the small white room one last time, now warm and glowing with candlelight, and closes the door just as Changkyun toes off his shoes and drops his messenger bag by the front door.

Perfect timing.

Everything changes when he sees Changkyun’s face etched with exhaustion, his slumped shoulders, the clench in his jaw. His hospital scrubs are wrinkled from a long day on his feet.

“What can I do?” Hyunwoo whispers into his boyfriend’s hair when Changkyun collapses into his arms, nose and ears still bright red from walking home in the freezing temperature.

“Just hold me,” he mutters, voice edged with weariness.

After a few minutes, Hyunwoo guides Changkyun to the bathroom, but not for his original plan of a romantic bath for two. 

Changkyun stares at the bathtub, confused. “What is all this?”

“You should soak for a while and relax, Kyun. I’ll go make dinner,” Hyunwoo proposes, but Changkyun’s fingers are still curled into his sweater sleeve, not letting him leave.

“Shit,” Changkyun swears quietly. “Shit. It’s our 300th day together and I forgot. You prepared all this and I—I.” He cuts himself off, looking down at his feet and biting his lip—a tell-tale sign that he’s forcing himself not to cry.

Hyunwoo hugs him from behind, wrapping his arms around Changkyun’s rigid body, pressing a kiss to his nape. He holds him until he feels Changkyun begin to melt against him. “You always surprise me, Changkyun. It was my turn to surprise you. Now take your clothes off and get in there before the water gets cold.”

“Okay, Officer Son,” Changkyun replies cheekily, saluting him as he sinks into the water with a pleased sigh.

“Water still hot?”

“Perfect…but it would be even better if you joined me?”

Hyunwoo doesn’t think twice before he joins his boyfriend in the water, the heat soothing his own sore muscles. Changkyun settles against his chest, placing Hyunwoo’s hands on his stomach, and they sit there in comfortable silence for a while. Changkyun has always been good at hiding his emotions, but over time Hyunwoo has learned how to read him, has learned what he needs—and he knows that right now more than anything, Changkyun needs space to process whatever happened today.

But Hyunwoo can’t help the ache blooming under his ribcage and the tightness in his throat whenever his boyfriend feels sad or has a rough day, and he holds him that much tighter, hoping that Changkyun feels treasured. Hoping he knows that he’s loved because Hyunwoo really does love him. So much. He’s known for a while now that he cares for Changkyun and that he would undoubtedly protect him with his life, but sometimes he’s struck by how deeply he loves him, how raw and cut open he feels at times.

“Jooheon wanted to take me out for drinks tonight,” Changkyun sighs, “and I was ready to go. We were halfway to the bar and I realized—I really wanted to just come home to you.”

Changkyun twists around and looks at Hyunwoo with his dark eyes that seem to hold galaxies—secrets and stories Hyunwoo is willing to wait a lifetime to uncover—and everything else falls away until all he can think is: _I love you, Changkyun-ah._

He closes his eyes, almost missing the words whispered softly against his bare skin, _I love you too, hyung._

**5.**

Slivers of early morning light filter through the blinds waking Hyunwoo before his alarm; he holds Changkyun as he continues to doze, his hand splayed across his boyfriend’s tummy, and he hums, blissful, not ready to leave the warm bed yet. His eyes wander around his bedroom—now their bedroom—landing on framed photographs where bare shelves used to be, and he feels contentment settle into his stomach. Changkyun moved in with him two months ago and Hyunwoo still feels giddy when he wakes up to his boyfriend nestled into his chest or spooning him from behind. It’s these quiet mornings together before work that are the best, when he can kiss Changkyun’s naked shoulder and hold him a few moments longer.

Eventually, he forces himself out of bed to make coffee, shave and brush his teeth. He sets a steaming mug on the bedside table and Changkyun hooks a finger into his collar, pulling him down for a kiss, pouting that he’s leaving so early. His boyfriend’s pout is dangerous, but Hyunwoo is immune to it. Maybe.

“Don’t go to work yet, baby,” Changkyun murmurs against his lips. “Stay in bed.”

“You have work too, babe,” Hyunwoo says, regretfully pulling away to straighten his shirt. “Where will you be today?”

“Emergency room,” Changkyun groans. It’s his least favorite rotation so far, but he hasn’t really explained why, somehow managing to skirt around the topic. “How about you?”

Hyunwoo hesitates; he doesn’t want to lie, but he doesn’t want to worry him either. “Wrapping up a case. I’ll be home as soon as I can, Kyun,” he assures as he presses another kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

Things don’t always go as planned.

It all happens so fast: one moment, he and Hyungwon are arresting a crooked politician on corruption charges, and the next, there’s a blinding white hot pain in Hyunwoo’s side. He ignores it and chases after the politician’s assistant, tackling him to the ground and wrenching his arm behind his back to slap handcuffs on him. After the men—six in total—are in handcuffs and being led to the line of police cruisers, he stops to check out his side, shocked to see his uniform drenched in sticky crimson.

Hyungwon is talking to the police chief, his face lit up in alternating red and blue from the cruiser lights, and the back up officers are still inside searching the offices. He knows that right now, Hoseok is leading more officers on a thorough search and seizure at the politician’s mansion on the outskirts of Seoul, collecting even more evidence to present in court. They have a solid case.

When Hyungwon is done talking, he high-fives Hyunwoo like they always do after a successful arrest.

“I think I should leave now, Won,” Hyunwoo grits out quietly, his forehead soaked in sweat from the pain despite the cool autumn weather.

Hyungwon immediately sobers, his previous post-arrest high completely gone. His eyes skitter over Hyunwoo’s body, searching. “What’s wrong? Why are you so pale?”

Hyunwoo is pressing onto his side trying to slow the flow of blood, but even with his hand obscuring the wound and the cover of night, Hyungwon’s eyes widen in horror. “Shit, hyung! You have to go to the hospital right now!”

“Don’t tell the others yet,” he entreats. “I don’t want anyone to get distracted from the case.”

“That goes against protocol. You know that,” Hyungwon hisses, but he’s already pushing Hyunwoo into their—thankfully empty—cruiser, and speeds off, using his sirens to run through red lights.

“You’re not supposed to do that,” Hyunwoo pants, but there are already black dots spotting his vision. He closes his eyes for a moment to try to steady himself, keep himself alert.

“We’re here, hyung.” Hyungwon’s voice sounds so far away, but it gives him something to focus on as his partner heaves him out of the car and half-walks, half-carries him into the hospital.

“Hyung?” A new voice cuts through the fog and Hyunwoo’s head snaps up, eyes looking straight into Changkyun’s panicked face. _He’s working in the emergency room tonight_ , he remembers distantly.

“Hyunwoo? Focus on my face, babe.” Changkyun’s eyes are huge, but he speaks calmly. “What happened?

“It’s just a scratch, baby. Don’t worry,” he slurs out.

Then he feels his knees buckle and everything goes dark.

/

Hyunwoo wakes up with a pounding headache and an intense dryness in his mouth like cotton. He looks around the dim room, confused. Everything hurts. Then it slowly comes back to him. The arrest. The knife lodged in his side. Hyungwon using the sirens for unsanctioned purposes. And Changkyun. 

_Changkyun!_ Hyunwoo sits up with a jerk, instantly wincing, and finds Changkyun asleep in the chair next to him, head on the bed, nestled into Hyunwoo’s thigh. He’s still wearing his scrubs.

“You’re awake now,” Hyungwon says quietly as he slips through the sliding door. “You’ve been out for over twelve hours.”

Hyunwoo tries to talk but his throat is dry and scratchy.

“I brought you some ice chips. The doctor said to ease you back into eating and drinking because the pain medication will make you nauseous.”

“Did we get them?” Hyunwoo manages to ask as he sucks on an ice chip, the cool water soothing his throat.

“We were granted an emergency hearing with the judge,” he answers with a proud smile as he sits on the edge of the bed near Hyunwoo’s feet. “They’ll be held in jail until the trial. No bail.”

Hyunwoo falls back into the pillows, elated.

“Thank you for everything, Won,” he says, his voice cracking from disuse and the sudden lump in his throat. _You saved my life_ , he tries to say, but a sudden onslaught of emotion chokes him to the point where he can’t speak, overwhelmed with gratitude for his friend and partner.

Hyungwon seems to understand, smiling kindly as he pats Hyunwoo’s hand. “I’m not the one you should be thanking,” he murmurs as he juts his chin in Changkyun’s direction. “He’s been with you all night. Refused to leave your side or let anyone but the lead surgeon touch you.”

Hyunwoo feels his heart swell as he looks at Changkyun—his spirited, brilliant, amazing boyfriend. He yearns to hold him; he craves his familiar touch and soft words and strength. He swallows, whispering, “Really?”

Hyungwon nods and gets up from the bed. “I think I’ll head home now, but I’ll be back during visiting hours,” he pauses, pursing his lips, “and expect everyone else then, too.”

Hyunwoo watches Changkyun sleep for a while, the steady rise and fall of his back as he breathes—and he wonders if it’s fair to put him through all this pain. Sure, Changkyun is one of the strongest men he knows; he’s sarcastic and resilient, able to roll with whatever life throws at him, but what would happen to him if Hyunwoo got hurt on the job again? Or worse, what if Hyunwoo doesn’t come home one night?

He chews on his lip, replaying the same scene in his head over and over again, unable to forget the fear in Changkyun’s eyes. The tremor in his fingers as he reached out to steady him. 

Changkyun blinks his eyes open then, immediately fetching a cool cloth to wipe Hyunwoo’s forehead, muttering care instructions under his breath. Hyunwoo watches him as he moves around the room in a flurry of activity and manages to catch him by the wrist, tugging on him gently so he sits down on the bed. He looks into Changkyun’s bloodshot eyes and sucks in a deep breath, feeling a new kind of searing pain in his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, voice still scratchy. Guilt corrodes his heart, leaving him raw and bleeding. “I’m so sorry, Kyun. I never wanted to put you through this,” Hyunwoo pauses and feels hot, burning tears leak from his eyes. “I only want to see you smile.”

Changkyun shushes him. “You do make me smile, hyung,” he placates, voice low and soothing, but Hyunwoo can hear the emotion lacing his words.

He shakes his head because Changkyun just doesn’t understand. “I could get hurt again, Kyun. Or worse—” he pauses, pressing his palms to his wet eyes, not wanting to say it. Not wanting to lose the person who makes him laugh and gives his life a deeper meaning. His other half. “You wouldn’t have to live through this kind of pain again if we…break up,” he finally chokes out, voice thick with emotion.

Changkyun takes his hand and holds it for a while, silence smothering the room. Only when he starts talking, does Hyunwoo realize that he’s been crying, the silent tears suffocating his voice. “I never want to hear you say that again, hyung,” he says quietly. Hyunwoo searches Changkyun’s eyes for any doubt, but only sees fire. Challenge. Love. “Never again,” he repeats.

“Okay.” Hyunwoo nods his head, reaching out to cradle his boyfriend’s cheek, wiping away an errant tear. “Okay, baby.”

“Don’t you understand, hyung?” Changkyun finally says, voice soft, but there is steel in it. Strength. “You’re my home—the only home I want to know.”

And in that moment, as Hyunwoo looks into Changkyun’s eyes and recognizes the vulnerability underneath the fire, it strikes him that maybe it isn’t only Changkyun who gives Hyunwoo unconditional love and comfort and hope. 

Maybe he gives that to Changkyun, too.

**+1**

“Have you asked him yet?” Kihyun whispers into his ear, voice barely audible over the sappy love ballad Hoseok is currently belting out. They are only thirty minutes into the evening and Hyunwoo is already regretting every life decision that led him to the noraebang tonight.

He suppresses a sigh; he knew this would happen. “I just bought the ring yesterday, Ki,” he explains patiently, eyes darting in Changkyun's direction to make sure they aren’t overheard. Changkyun is curled into a ball, half-covering his face and giggling with Minhyuk as Hoseok continues to sing, his voice distorted by the speakers. “Of course I haven’t asked him yet.”

Kihyun side-eyes him with a quirked eyebrow. “Have any ideas for how you want to ask?”

That’s the thing. Hyunwoo has hundreds of ideas on how to ask him, but somehow none of them feel right. Hyunwoo shakes his head, sighing. “No idea, Ki,” he answers honestly. “All I know is that I love him and I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Kihyun’s face softens and he squeezes Hyunwoo’s forearm. “You’ll know when it’s the right time, hyung.”

“Thanks, Ki,” Hyunwoo grins as he bumps his friend’s shoulder. 

Just then Changkyun sidles up to him and nuzzles his neck, clearly affected by the shots Hyungwon has been freely pouring.

“Hey, baby,” Hyunwoo coos as he kisses his boyfriend’s cheek. “Having fun?”

Changkyun hums and pulls on Hyunwoo’s arm. “Now it’s time for Kyunnie and Nunu’s duet debut.”

Hyunwoo snorts out a surprised laugh. He wasn’t planning to sing tonight, but when has Hyunwoo ever denied his boyfriend? 

“Sure, babe. Lead the way.”

/

Weeks pass, spring turning to summer, and the shiny platinum ring remains nestled in its velvet box, waiting to be worn.

“I have to go to Jeju for a medical conference in a couple weeks. Want to come with me?” Changkyun asks as he settles against Hyunwoo’s side on the couch, gearing up for a movie night. They’re both wearing thin pajama pants and nothing more; even with air-conditioning, the apartment is balmy in summer.

Hyunwoo looks at Changkyun over the rim of his glasses. “Of course, babe. Should I make reservations?”

“Nope,” Changkyun says as he pecks Hyunwoo on the lips. “I’ll take care of everything.”

A few weeks later, they fly to Jeju and rent scooters to get around the island. The conference is being held at a luxury hotel on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Hyunwoo’s eyes flit around the lobby, taking it all in, but the lobby doesn’t even compare to their room: large and airy, with its own private balcony. It’s so close to the ocean, Hyunwoo can hear the waves crashing against the rocks.

“Holy shit, Kyun,” he can’t help but mutter as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend and kisses his temple. “This room is amazing. You didn’t have to do all this.”

Changkyun practically preens. “I’m a doctor now, baby. Gotta spoil you,” he says, clearly delighted, love shining bright in his eyes. 

“Do you want to explore the island now?”

Changkyun checks the time on his phone and sighs. “I was hoping to, but the keynote address starts in a few minutes.”

Hyunwoo kisses him until his pout is gone and waits until Changkyun leaves to initiate his plan. He’s spent weeks now researching wedding proposals; he’s read engagement stories and has discovered that Jeju is apparently the _perfect_ place to get engaged. He spreads out a map on the work table and circles all possible proposal spots. He has a solid three hours before Changkyun will be done for the day. Time to get to work.

His first stop is at a store to buy some supplies, then he hops onto the scooter and follows the winding coastline past lighthouses and fields that abut sheer rock cliffs. He doesn’t usually feel the need to take pictures, but finds himself stopping on the side of the road to pull out his phone to snap a couple shots.

Changkyun texts him that he’s finally free for the evening just as Hyunwoo picks the perfect spot to return later that night. He grins to himself and types a quick response, then rides back to the hotel.

/

Hyunwoo can’t seem to sit still through dinner; he wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans and pats his front pocket again to check that the ring is still there. _Calm down, Hyunwoo_ , he scolds himself, but his heartbeat continues to pound in his ears.

“Are you feeling okay, hyung?” Changkyun asks with a frown. “By now, you’re usually eating half of my food too.”

“I’m okay, Kyun. Just thinking a lot,” he murmurs, knocking knees with Changkyun to make him smile. “There's a place I want to show you tonight.”

“Where are we going?” Changkyun asks as they walk outside after paying the bill, eyes sparkling with excitement.

“You’ll see,” he chuckles.

The roads are dark on Jeju at night, but the moon is large and bright, almost full, and Hyunwoo is able to find the beach easily. They park by the side of the road and he leads Changkyun by the hand down a steep rocky path to the empty stretch of sand. Waves crash gently against the shore and they walk barefoot as the water ebbs and flows over their toes. He spots the rocky alcove where he stashed his backpack earlier and silently goes through the checklist in his head: set up blankets; light candles; pop open the bottle of champagne; gaze at the stars. But something doesn’t feel right. 

Hyunwoo frowns, his stomach twisting. They’re on a deserted beach walking under an inky sky studded with millions of glittering diamonds; there’s champagne and candles, blankets and a ring. It _should_ be perfect, but—it feels like someone else’s generic engagement story. 

Hyunwoo feels absurd laughter bubble into his throat and kind of feels like crying. How did he fuck this up so badly? Just then, Changkyun emits a warrior cry and dashes into the water fully-clothed. 

“Hyunwoo,” Changkyun calls out in a sing song, hand outreached. “Want you to hold my hand. Gotta make sure I don’t drown.”

Hyunwoo laughs and chases after him, catching him by the waist; he screeches, trying to wiggle free. “Hyung! You better not—”

And Hyunwoo dunks him into the chilly water, sparking an intense splashing fight and leaving them both soaked to the bone. 

Back on the sand, Hyunwoo pulls out the blankets and towels he stashed in the small lava rock cove. Under the cover of a blanket, they shimmy out of their clothes and kiss, hot and wet, with their arms wrapped around each other. Hyunwoo licks rivulets of salt water off Changkyun’s neck, lips dragging along his skin.

“Fuck me,” Changkyun groans and arches into Hyunwoo’s touch as he runs his fingers along the tattoo inked on Changkyun’s side to his hip, kissing first one hip bone then the other, and dips his tongue into his bellybutton. “No one will know.”

Hyunwoo shakes his head, trying to clear away the love haze, finally remembering that they’re on a public beach. “Later,” Hyunwoo promises as he presses a quick kiss to Changkyun’s lips and begins to pull out the dry clothes he had luckily stashed in his backpack.

Changkyun makes a noise of protest and pulls Hyunwoo down again. “I want you now,” he huffs, jutting out his bottom lip.

Hyunwoo suppresses a fond smile, lightly chastising, “I’m a cop, baby, and I’m pretty sure fucking in public is illegal.”

“Then don’t let us get caught,” he breathes into Hyunwoo’s ear, voice low and rough as velvet—the words reverberating under his skin, making his body prickle with heat and longing. He tries to level Changkyun with a glare, but his boyfriend is already kissing up his neck and his head naturally lulls to the side, giving him more access. Changkyun is so goddamn reckless—and Hyunwoo loves it.

Hyunwoo is kissing a hot trail of praises up Changkyun’s thigh when he hears a twig crack followed by muffled giggles. He holds his breath and freezes just as another couple stumbles onto the beach, luckily too wrapped up in each other to have noticed them.

Changkyun curses and rolls away with a quiet groan, already pulling on his clothes. “Fuckin’ honeymooners.”

They stuff the blankets and towels into the backpack and practically run up the trail, bursting into ebullient laughter once they get to their scooters.

Once back in the privacy of their hotel room, they fuck and kiss and make love until their bodies are hot and sticky. After they shower, they climb into bed and Hyunwoo kisses the mole on Changkyun’s neck and the dimples in his cheeks. He soaks him in, memorizing how his eyelashes flutter against his cheek, the dip of his collarbones, the softness of his navel.

“What’s got you so soft tonight, hyung?” Changkyun asks tenderly as he brushes hair out of Hyunwoo’s eyes.

They’ve been together for years now and Hyunwoo still feels his breath stutter whenever Changkyun smiles; he still feels butterflies when they kiss. Changkyun deserves everything. Absolutely everything.

“You’re radiant, Kyun,” he says, voice breathless. “How did I get so lucky?”

Just then he feels it: a pang of longing. An ache right under his ribcage. He wants to come home to Changkyun. He wants to wake up next to him every morning. He wants to hold him and make love to him and treasure him for as long as it makes them both happy. He wants to exchange rings, vows and promises. 

He’s ready.

“Hyung,” Changkyun says softly and there is a quality to his voice, an earnestness that makes time slow down. “Jooheon said something the other day that I’ve been thinking about a lot. He said that life can change with one breath—” Changkyun pauses and there is something shining in his eyes that makes Hyunwoo’s insides flip, “—and, Hyunwoo, I want to take my next breath and my last breath with you.”

Hyunwoo feels his world tip as he blinks down at the ring box now clasped in Changkyun’s hand. “Are you ready to tackle life with me?” Changkyun asks as he opens the box to reveal a simple platinum band with their names engraved on the inside—almost identical to the ring Hyunwoo still has hidden in his pocket.

“You, but, I—” Hyunwoo sputters, utterly shocked. Then shock gives way to elation. Giddiness.

“It’s okay, hyung. You don’t have to answer right away,” Changkyun chuckles—and he looks at Hyunwoo with so much affection that Hyunwoo feels like his heart will burst. He hops off the bed and rifles through his jeans.

“The funny thing is, I was going to ask you the same thing,” Hyunwoo murmurs as he gets down on one knee and opens the ring box. “Will you be my husband, Im Changkyun?”

They stare at each other for a moment, then without any warning Changkyun jumps on Hyunwoo, practically tackling him to the floor and they kiss until they’re both grinning from ear to ear.

“Goodnight, husband-to-be,” Changkyun whispers against his lips as they slip under the sheets, and Hyunwoo smiles until his cheeks are sore. They fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, ready for the rest of their lives to begin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments, kudos, etc really make my day :)
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/cupofgenmaicha) @cupofgenmaicha!
> 
> Also! I wrote a bonus chapter to celebrate The Only Home reaching 1100+ hits! You can read it [here](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/19935685/chapters/49145528)!


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